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Through The Lens Page 6


  Nodding in agreement, I did know. When you are walking down the street or in the mall for that matter, you may make eye contact with someone. That didn’t mean you were interested. It was happenstance most of the time. “Still, if you two ever broke up, or she heard about you and another guy, she might think you were using her.”

  “There haven’t been any other guys,” he said.

  “See my point,” I proclaimed. “If you haven’t been with another guy yet, how do you know you aren’t gay?”

  “Jess,” he said, exasperatedly. “I know how I feel. I would never hurt Madison that way. I do truly love her, and there is no guy I’d want to be with in her place.”

  “What happened at the party last night?"I remembered that it was supposed to be last night but Madison didn’t mention it, so that guy must not have been a problem.”

  “We didn’t go,” he said.

  Sighing, I said, “You can’t hide from this forever.” That said it all. I trusted him to do it. Bradley wasn’t one to lie, at least not to me. “I still think you should tell her.”

  “If I do and she breaks up with me, I will so kill you,” he said.

  “You’re in a pickle,” I said.

  Shaking his head, he said, “Why do people say that?”

  “Maybe because you have a sour look on your face,” I retorted.

  I left his house thinking how complicated even my friends' lives were. If Madison didn’t fall madly in love with Bradley, he would be devastated. If she stayed with him out of some misguided sense of friendship, that would end up even worse. I could only hope that she would fall for him the way he had with her. My own lack of relationships left me wondering if she should already feel that way about him, and what did it mean that she didn’t?

  Taking a deep breath, I opened the door to my house to get ready for my own tangle of webs. I was going to hang out with a celebrity and have tea. It was totally wild. As interesting as that sounded, I couldn’t help but look forward to spending time with Ethan on Monday.

  Chapter Ten

  After a shower, I felt refreshed and renewed. It was eye opening how water could bring things into perspective.

  My mother who worked seven days a week had gone in early to the bistro. My father was up in the attic still tackling the task of cleaning out the attic. So, knowing my Mom wouldn’t care, I rummaged through her closet for something to wear.

  Jenna was like a size zero. No, make that a size negative if there was such a thing. I’d gotten down to a size close to my mom. And that’s where my mother came in. I was hoping to find something a bit stylish but not to outdated in her closet to wear to posh ladies tea. I wasn’t the social butterfly, and all my clothes felt a little too juvenile. My Mom was the shopper of the family. She and Jenna spent endless time at the malls. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it either.

  Off in the back of my Mom’s walk-in closet in a clear plastic bag, most likely back from dry cleaning was the loveliest dress I’d seen so far. It was a shimmering aqua blue color, off the shoulder, and probably would hit me just above the knee or slightly higher. The embellishments on the shoulder were minimal, and everything else was perfect. With a quick call to my Mom, I was walking into my room with the dress and her full approval.

  After I got it out and felt the light fabric, I tried it on only to realize that it still bore a tag. I almost felt bad, but Mom had okayed it. She’d told me she’d bought it long ago at some off-season sale but never found an occasion to wear it. Looking at it, I couldn’t imagine my mother, who was not old but certainly older, would wear something that looked tailor made for my age group.

  It fit like a dream and set off the color of my eyes. My pale hair that normally looked lifeless seemed to shimmer. Pleased, I took the garment back and hung it up for good measure. When Allie came, I would ask if I should dress before we left. Keeping things simple, I’d pulled my hair back in a perfect ponytail without a hair out of place. The dress would be enough. If I’d learned anything watching fashion police shows with my sister, it was that my hair should complement my dress, not compete with it.

  Dressed back in shorts and a tank, I heard the doorbell ring. Flying out of my room, I suddenly felt giddy. Allie, in the short amount of time I’d gotten to know her, felt like a free spirit. She seemed to exude a carefree nature. I had a feeling that today would be an adventure at an otherwise droll sounding event.

  The door was open, and my brother stood before it. His hulking body precluded me from seeing Allie, but his still form let me know it had to be her.

  “Am I having a wet dream?” he asked no one in particular, just staring.

  Shocked by his choice of words, I moved swiftly to the door and nudged him out of the way. “Wow Kyle. You are so...,” I couldn't find any adjective to describe him. Looking at Allie who seemed more amused than anything else, I said, “Don’t mind him. Please come in.”

  Allie stepped in looking like a fashion model in similar shorts with a top that had more flair than my plain tank. As she pushed sunglasses from her eyes onto her head, I closed the door behind her. My brother still stood there gawking and sputtering “This has to be some sort of fantasy. You cannot possibly be here in my house like you walked out of the poster in my room.”

  Crap, I hadn't expected her to meet my brother or thought about him recognizing her. I didn't even know he watched that show But since they had pretty girls I shouldn't have put it past him. I didn’t even know he had a poster in his room of her. I tried very hard to avoid his room at all cost.

  “Will you autograph my poster,” asked my brother, who lacked no shame.

  Allie beamed at him. “Sure,” she said.

  Taking her by the hand, he led her upstairs to his room, as I watched openmouthed. It took a moment for my brain to catch up, but then I followed after them. It was a good thing. Allie stood on his bed facing the poster with a Sharpie in her hand. Why did my brother have spare Sharpies lying around? But my immediate concern was the camera phone my brother aimed at Allie’s backside.

  “Kyle,” I cried out, snatching the phone away. Allie briefly looked back before resuming her signature. Dashing out of the room, I managed to call up the picture he’d taken and forward it to me before deleting it. My quick glance at the picture just showed the full length of her, signing away. It hadn’t been a vulgar shot. And such shot may be a bargaining chip later, if Allie approved of the picture.

  My brother hadn’t come after me. He looked torn when I stepped back in, and Allie handed him the Sharpie. I was sure he didn’t want to lose the mental image of her in his room standing on his bed over a photo, at least in that moment.

  Bringing Allie in my room, I firmly shut the door. “Should I dress before we leave?” I asked. “I wasn’t sure.”

  She was still smiling from what she seemed to think was good fun a moment ago. “No, bring it, and we can get dressed together.”

  Nodding, I grabbed the dress bag and a pair of strappy heels I took from Jenna’s room. “Sorry about my brother,” I added.

  Laughing outright, she said, “No problem. He’s a real cutie.”

  Groaning, I said, “Don’t let him hear you say that. He’s hard to live with as it is.”

  Walking in front of her, I peeked inside my brother’s open door before she passed. I wanted to make sure he didn’t have a camera waiting for her. He was behaving like a dog in heat. Thankfully, he was equally absent from downstairs. Without further delay, we left the house. My parents weren’t home so there was no need to say goodbye. And letting my brother know would only invite further embarrassment.

  Allie was again driving the cute convertible. Putting my purse I’d brought on the floor, I hoped I wouldn’t have need of it. I’d come prepare for the what ifs with a hair brush and a few other essentials. With the music up, we sang again without abandon. And the more and more I hung out with her, the more I liked her. Ethan became further and further off limits.

  To my surprise, we ended up at the crow
ded mall parking lot. This was more than shocking. She would be recognized, and I wasn’t sure that the possible hordes of people would accept her lame excuse of being a good lookalike.

  She drove over to one of the more exclusive department stores that apparently offered valet parking. Pulling to a stop, she had a brief conversation with the guy in the red jacket proclaiming him a valet in bold white lettering, as another guy opened my door for me. Stepping out, I imagined how the upper half lived.

  Interlocking our arms, Allie pulled me along a mall I’d been to on the number of occasions when my sister or my mother dragged me there. Thought this was a different side of the same that I hadn’t seen before. Just inside the doors stood banks of elevators. Pressing the button, Allie declared we were headed upstairs.

  Reaching the top level, we walked out and down a short corridor to a door. Inside, there was a desk manned by a woman with an open face and an honest smile. To the side was a passage. “Allie McDougal,” she said, announcing herself.

  The woman nodded and got to her feet. Holding out her hand, she said, “Welcome Ms. McDougal. Follow me this way.” After a brief shake of hands, we were on our way. We didn’t go far. We passed one door, then entered the next. The space looked like a fancy dressing room. It was huge with a sofa to the side and huge three-way mirrors with a little circular podium for someone to stand on while admiring themselves in the mirror.

  What followed next was a well orchestrated event. A rack of clothes was brought in. They were Allie’s exact size and seemed to be of styles she would be interested in. I sat in wonderment thinking that if all shopping experiences would be like this one, I could so enjoy a trip to the mall. I’d totally have to talk to my Mom about this, I thought sarcastically. When she got undressed down to her skivvies, I found myself looking away. There was hardly any place that didn’t have a mirror, but I didn’t want her thinking I enjoyed the view more than a friend would.

  “Oh, Jessa, you can look. I’ve long ago lost shame when it comes to getting dressed in front of people I don’t know. In the business, I’m constantly changing with people walking in and out. A lot of them I don’t know. As long as you don’t take pictures,” she teased. “It's really fine.”

  The reference to my brother and his amateur photo-taking skills had me groan. I risked a glance her way when she’d downed an outfit. It actually ended up turning out to be pretty fun. She asked my opinion and agreed with a lot of my feelings before settling on a pink silk dress that looked like it was molded just for her.

  She stayed dressed and, after giving me a wink, proceeded to tell the main woman helping us that my dress was in a garment bag in her trunk. Not ten minutes later, I had that and my shoes. After I was dressed and ready to go, Allie exchanged A few more words and we were on our way.

  In a ballroom in a fancy hotel, with multiple well place chandeliers hanging above us, we sat near the front in a table of twelve. The tables were covered in pristine white linens. The chairs decorated with bows on the back. The center pieces at each table held fresh flowers I found out once I sat and got a strong whiff of the orchids at ours. The ladies’ tea could have been boring without Allie. She still managed to whisper, stuck to me as we people-watched and speculated on the lives of those around us.

  “I bet she’s never worked hard a day in her life,” Allie said softly, about a woman in a blue silk dress. The pointy nose of the woman could have put an eye out. I giggled softly while a different course was placed in front of us. “The only water those hands have seen are from a manicure bowl,” she continued on.

  Nothing she said was in a mean way. It was a bit of fun at how stuffy the room seemed. And again, I was struck at how easy I was becoming friends with her.

  With no word of warning, after we were served lunch and tea, Allie got up and spoke when prompted. Apparently, this was on the agenda because I glanced down at it after I was alone for the first time today. Once she started speaking, I was captivated. She managed to be what my mom would have dubbed “poised and polished” as if none of our earlier goofing around happened. She spoke about the charity we’d all gathered for. Her passion seemed real, and I could believe her. Helping the disadvantaged was certainly something I believed in, too.

  Afterward, Allie spent a short time signing autographs for the younger members of the crowd. Standing back, I watched her graciously give young girls a real thrill with her warmth, smile, and Sharpie of all things. I had to laugh thinking back to my brother.

  A ride back to my house went fast. Our in car karaoke was going to be our thing, I thought. “This was so much fun,” she said, turning off the car. “I haven’t had this much fun in a while.”

  “Really,” I said, quickly. To me, it seemed like her life would be crazy fun in Hollywood and all.

  “Yes,” she said. Her face sobered as she thought about something that made her sad. “I haven’t had this much fun since Carly.” Perplexed at who Carly was, I stayed silent, hoping she would elaborate. Looking at me instead of the faraway place she’d gone, with a grimace she said, “Carly was my best friend. She and Ethan were an item before she disappeared.”

  I gave her a half-owl look with widened eyes and parted mouth, but not quite the circle as if I was saying who. The fact that this Carly disappeared was a part of my astonishment. The other was that she’d been Ethan’s girlfriend, and now he was dating his former girl friend’s best friend. I wasn’t certain how that sat with me. Allie seemed nice enough, but she also didn’t seem to approve of relationship between Ethan and Carly. And now involved with him despite the fact that she hadn’t said Carly was dead, but missing.

  I was still mulling that over as I fell asleep for the night, wondering if I should still hang out with Ethan in the morning. I mean if he was the type of guy who would date the friend of his girlfriend and then to flirt with me. No, he was not flirting with me. I couldn't let myself hope that he was possibly interested. Because one, his girlfriend and this Carly and second, there was no way he could be interested in me. Right?

  Chapter Eleven

  Because it was still summer break, Monday rolled in without so much as an alarm. I rose to the sunlight at the will of my own body in getting enough rest. I felt surprisingly good and quickly dressed for my morning run.

  It had been days since I hit the blacktop. Running woke my body in the way that sunlight did not. My heart raced, and I felt more alive with each step. Running had been hard in the beginning. I hadn’t been able to take two steps before I was gasping for breath. Now, it was easy. My goal was not to run a marathon, so I didn’t have limits. I ran as far as I felt like it, and the hard part came when I pushed myself to make it back.

  The burn and the sweat came on that return, and after a shower, I felt better. Yesterday, I hadn’t eaten very healthy. The food at the tea was great, but not knowing how it was prepared, I was sure it contained all the bad things because tasted oh so good. I didn’t beat myself over it though. That was the fine line of diet and exercise I tried not cross. I would eat healthier today, and with continued exercise, I wouldn’t worry about what the scale said.

  Getting dressed casually in shorts and a tee, I headed downstairs for some fruit and whole grain toast. I found Jenna in the kitchen, which was a surprise. “What are you doing home?” I asked.

  “Morning practice was canceled,” she said, eating half of an English bagel, covered in Mom’s alternative to butter and then real honey on top. For a second, I hated that somehow she’d gotten the skinny genes and I didn’t. But I let it pass. It wasn’t her fault how the dice had fallen.

  “Can I use the car?” I asked.

  She stopped in mid bite, so I could tell she hadn’t been expecting that. “I have afternoon practice.”

  “I could drop you off,” I added, sweetening the deal. Really, I never used our car, so this shouldn’t be a question.

  “I don’t know when practice might be over, and having you wait for a call seems like putting you out. Why don’t I drop you off wher
ever you need to go?”

  Actually, I didn’t have to have the car today. Ethan could pick me up. But I wanted to plant the seed. This was a new year, and my life was changing. I had every right to the car that Jenna did. “It’s my car, too, and I need to use it.”

  Jenna didn’t protest. She knew that she’d had a free year with the car without a peep from me. “Okay,” she said, giving in

  With A text and a reply, I soon found myself on Ethan’s doorstep with my finger on the button that would announce my arrival. It didn’t take long before the door was opened and I was ushered inside after a wave to my sister.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked, leaving me to close the door. I followed him into the kitchen. He was forever trying to feed me, just like Bradley’s mom. But he was Ethan, a boy. A very nice looking one at that. Should I feel self-conscious that he thinks because I’m not thin that I like to eat?

  “No, not really,” I said, watching his butt with a much unsuccessful effort at detachment.

  He slid into his seat where a plate of round waffles sat pooled in butter and syrup. The smell was divine. “You know that stuff is bad for you,” I said.

  Looking at me, his fork speared on a bite of waffle with syrup slowly dripping from it, he said, “What are you going to cook for me?” It was a challenge. The look of disbelief on his face made me want to prove him wrong.

  “Maybe,” I said, in challenge. “I’m not a bad cook. My Mom owns a bistro in town.”

  “Really,” he said around a mouthful of food.

  Nodding, I sat and let him eat. I couldn’t begrudge him his eating habits. He was on his own, abandoned by his mother and left to his own devices. With nothing to look at, surrounded by bare walls, and not wanting to watch him eat, I pulled out my phone and played some games on it. I even texted Madison to see how she was. We were in mid-conversation when I realized he had been done.