Through The Lens Read online

  Madison chimed in. “My vote is for Sixteen Candles.”

  “Of course,” Bradley said.

  I really didn’t care either way, but threw my support with Madison. “Sixteen Candles, then.”

  “Hold up,” Bradley said, with a hand in the air. “Ethan, what about you.”

  Ethan looked at me, then said, “I prefer Die Hard, but I’ll compromise with Breakfast Club.” Then he added, “Why the eighties anyway?”

  “Madison works at the movie theaters. We’ve seen it all. I found these in my parents’ movie collection. I dunno. You have any better ideas?” Bradley said, with a shrug.

  “It’s cool. I guess,” Ethan said.

  Turning to Madison, I said, “Hey, it’s Ethan’s first time, let’s go with his choice.”

  “Die Hard?” Ethan asked hopefully.

  “No,” Madison said a little quickly. “I’ll go for Breakfast Club.”

  Bradley moved quickly while we were all in agreement and put the movie in. Getting up off the floor, I moved to turn out the lights. Getting back, I sat on the opposite end of the couch from Ethan.

  When the movie was over, Ethan smirked at me. “Well, Princess, what’s next?” Ethan asked his eye fixed on me. Although, Ethan had his reasons for calling me Princess and not all of them good, I was pretty sure this time he was referring to the movie. The Princess was the pretty popular girl all the guys wanted. No, the only thing I had in common with her was my virgin status.

  “No, more like basketcase,” I said, referring to the outsider girl in the movie who didn’t seem to fit in with any group. Everyone laughed and a sparked a quick retort of conversation. With his eyes still on me in a warm caress, I said, “Another movie?” hoping to stop the way my heart raced from his stare.

  Shrugging, Bradley took charge and popped in another movie.

  My parents came in when we were on our third movie, Die Hard. I caught my father opening his mouth to speak. Probably to tell me it was late, but he caught sight of the movie we were watching. Soon enough, he was seated. He watched the rest of the movie with us through Bruce Willis saving the day.

  As soon as the credits started to roll, he said, “You know it’s getting late?”

  Bradley said, “Madison, I’ll take you home.”

  Rolling her eyes, she said, “I can drive myself.”

  “I’ll feel better if you let me take you,” he said.

  Giving Ethan a little headshake, he smirked at me while Bradley and Madison continued to quarrel all the way outside. Ethan and I followed, and we could hear them as she gave him “I’m a woman hear me roar” speech. It was all talk, because she’d left her car parked in front of my house. They were headed to his car as they fought.

  Laughing, I said, “Those two are crazy.”

  “Your friends are cool,” he said, adding, “Not the kind of night I’m used to.”

  “And what kind of night is that?” I asked quizzically. And why did I open myself like that?

  “The kind that involves getting laid or lots of alcohol or both,” he laughed.

  Wrapping my arm around myself again reminded just how different we were, I said, “I think, you just say stuff for shock value.”

  “Princess, wouldn’t you like to find out?” His arm caught me as I started to move off, heading back in the house.

  Sputtering, I said, “No, no, no.” Not really sure of why I was protesting except I could feel myself wanting to fall for him when I knew I should. He just continued to pull me forward. “I believe you,” I said.

  When we reached his SUV, he said, “Up.”

  The way he held his hand out suggested he wanted me to climb on the roof. “Really, I believe you are a total stud. You don’t have to prove me wrong.”

  Chuckling, he caged me in with his arms. “As much as your pretty little mouth turns me on, I’m not that guy. I don’t poach.”

  Mentioning my mouth, only made me notice his. I shouldn’t be thinking about kissing him. Looking away, I said, “Me either. Allie is my friend.”

  “She’s my friend, too. Now up. I’m sure your father will come looking soon.”

  Taking his hand, I let him guide me onto the roof of the massive contraption. “Why are we up here?” I asked, once he settled himself next to me.

  “Watching movies with you guys reminded me of something I haven’t done since I was a kid,” he said, lying back.

  Sitting, while he made himself comfortable, I said, “And what is that?”

  “Looking at the stars.”

  It was a clear night. With no street lights, it felt like heaven was close. I lay back and looked at them myself. Kyle had gotten a telescope one year for Christmas, and we all spent a few days taking turns trying to see faraway things. But lying here was an all new experience.

  “See there,” he pointed. “That’s the Little Dipper.”

  “Yes,” I said in wonder. Everyone knew what that looked like. He took it further showing me the stars in a new light. The sky was brilliant, and we spent a good half hour picking out shapes and constellations.

  “Jessa,” my father called out. Ethan looked over at me, swiping a grin off his face. He’d called it that my Dad was going to clock me. “You should come in.”

  His voice penetrated the silence of our street. “Yes, daddy.” I said.

  When the door to the house closed, Ethan sat up and helped me off the car. “This has been fun. Probably the most fun I’ve had in a while.”

  Feeling like we’d crossed the corner into a new friendship, I teased, “Better than getting laid?”

  Choking, he said, “Not hardly. But it was cool.”

  We stood with his back to his car, my back to my front door. Words disappeared as we stood awkwardly looking at each other. “Night,” I finally said.

  “Night,” he said. And I turned, going into the house before I said or did anything stupid.

  ~~~

  Panting and sweaty at the top of the hill, I wasn’t disgusted by the dark stains under my arm pits. They were, in fact, badges of honor. If not for the sweat, I wouldn’t know that my run was doing its job.

  Jogging in place, trying not to let my heart rate slow too much, I lined up my shot. Ethan had given me another roll of black-and-white film. And I’d greedily taken it. In such a short time, my camera had become my high of choice. There was a freedom in taking pictures. This is why I had it with me on my morning run. I hadn’t given up running. It was something I was compelled to do, and I felt exhilarated after every triumph.

  With college applications looming, I decided a photo journal of my journey might be a different twist on the usual essay about myself. The hill I stood atop of wasn’t Mount Everest by any stretch of the imagination. But after running three miles, running up for any length of time was a challenge. At approximately every mile, I took a picture of what lay ahead of me. Now at the peak, I was ready to take a picture of my summit. It would be all downhill for now. But with the extra weight of the camera on my back, I was going to head back towards home, cutting this journey short.

  In my mind, I saw the pictures in black-and-white showing how things had come into focus. How my life had changed. Running had, in fact, altered my future for the better. I wouldn’t have snagged Josh, met Allie and Ethan, for sure. Despite Ethan’s claims that it is inner beauty that matters, the truth also lay in the physical. And to be honest, I didn’t think any of them were that shallow. I’d gotten to know them well enough to be certain of that. No, the problem was me. I’d been that shallow. Closing the door on possibilities was my doing. I’d been the one ashamed of my weight. Jenna had never tried to exclude me or shove the word “diet” in my face. Just the opposite. She’d accepted me just the way I was. And her friends might have, too, if I’d ever given them the chance.

  So this was my eye-opening experience. I wasn’t skinny and never thought I would be nor aspired to be. But I was now comfortable in my own skin. I had a long way to go to know exactly what life would bring, but thi
s was a start. One day I would come back and take color pictures of this journey to show all the possibilities that life had to offer.

  Stopping in place and focusing my lens, I snapped off a few shots.

  Noticing a speck in the distance and a rumble that grew closer, I found myself at full stop, snapping more photos as the motorcycle grew closer. The sound reminded me of Ethan and our time together. He was becoming an important friend in my life.

  When the bike reached the bottom of the hill, I dropped my hands. I didn’t want whoever it was to think a creepy girl was standing around taking pictures. In fact, I knelt to pick up my backpack to secure the camera and ready myself for my run back home when the bike came to a stop next to me.

  There was no way to be surprised at this point. Unless the biker was some sort of serial killer who preyed on runners early on a Saturday morning, my eyes were bound to lock with Ethan’s. With quick hands, I tucked everything away and stood. Swinging my pack around, I was ready to take off, just in case it was a creepy killer.

  Looking like heaven, there he was. What made it hell was the girl locked around his waist. Lucy was wrapped around him like a koala bear did a tree.

  “Jess, up early,” he said. His eyes raked over me. Suddenly the sweat stains no longer felt like trophies.

  Lifting an eyebrow and acknowledging the girl, maybe a bit stonily, I said, “Looks like you are, too.” Okay, it was an accusation. But I was with him last night. Had he been waiting to leave movie night to have a sleepover with her? That had to be it. They didn’t have an early date, and I knew the girl lived out this way past the point where we stood.

  As if I wasn’t standing there with the rumble of the engine breaking the silence, Lucy said, “Some girls have to work at perfecting their bodies. At least she’s giving it her best shot especially if she wants to keep Josh.”

  Not a violent person by nature, I had a mind to punch her right in her perfect nose. My mouth, however, had other ideas. “And some girls don’t have to work hard at all at being a slut.”

  Her mouth formed a circle of contempt. Ethan laughed and opened his own mouth to speak. I held out a hand to stop him. “Don’t bother. I shouldn’t have said that. It was mean. Anyway, I have to go.”

  Not wanting to give the girl a chance to say something that might have me in a YouTube video of girls gone crazy, I beat feet down the hill a little too fast. I almost stumbled, but pride kept me upright. They were no longer there, but with my luck, Ethan would backtrack, and they would see me fall. That would only give more ammunition to the stupid girl.

  What was my problem? Why was I so pissed? He wasn’t my boyfriend, not even close. Allie, I was pissed for her. How could he do it? She’d only been gone, what two weeks?

  The burn in my calves said I was running hard. Way too hard. Slowing my pace, I only had a mile left for a cool down to the house, otherwise I would have to add to my journey. Not wanting to do that, I tried to relax. And that meant clearing Ethan out of my mind.

  Instead, I thought of Josh and what I would wear on my date tonight.

  Chapter Twenty One

  Homework, chores, and a long talk with Madison later, I was in the bathroom getting ready when my sister popped in.

  “Date with Josh tonight,” she said, making it a statement and not a question.

  “Yeah,” I replied.

  “Don’t wear a skirt,” she added.

  Turning to her, even though I could see her in the mirror, I asked, “Why not?”

  Sighing like I was some pitiful child, she patted my arm. “He’ll probably take you bowling.”

  Groaning, I said, “Bowling?” This time I made one word more of a question.

  “Yes, silly, and don’t worry. It will be fun.” I didn’t think so. I hadn’t been bowling in quite some time. We used to go as a family. But once Jenna and I hit high school, she’d become too cool to go bowling with her parents. So the ritual had stopped. Even still, I was never that good, ever. I needed the child guides raised on the sides to get points on the board. “You know, he’ll stand behind you and help you line up your shot.”

  The imagery should have formed a picture in my head that included Josh. Instead, I could almost breathe in Ethan’s scent remembering him lying next to me while we star gazed. I could feel his heat next to me. Opening my eyes, Jenna looked at me suspiciously.

  “If I didn’t know any better, that look said you were thinking of you and Josh doing much more than that. And let me tell you I don’t approve. I mean, this relationship is new. You shouldn’t’ be thinking about things like that.”

  She had it all wrong. I hadn’t been thinking of Josh at all. “Don’t you worry about me? You try to keep your panties on with Billy so close. Or if you decide to do it, you tell me first.”

  Blushing, she shook her head and left the bathroom. Following her out, I headed into my bedroom to rethink my outfit. I had been planning to wear a skirt. But no way was I bowling in a skirt.

  An hour later, Josh was at the door, talking to my parents when I came downstairs in skinny jeans and a red thin strapped top. It was a simple outfit, but the jeans rode low, and the top just skimmed the top of them. Not a fan of makeup, I had the barest hints of it to liven up my pale face.

  Josh’s hand touched the small of my back when I stood in front of him to talk to my father. “Daddy, I’ll see you later.”

  Leaning over to me, my father kissed my forehead. “Be safe.” Then he looked at Josh, “Have her home at a decent time.”

  “Of course, Mr. Shelby,” Josh said.

  And Jenna had been right. We ended up at the bowling alley, bordering our town and the next. It was Saturday, and there was a brisk crowd with leagues and such. Josh must have preplanned because we had an empty lane ready for us.

  Thankful Jenna had warned me, I had worn socks. The thought of putting my bare feet in used bowling shoes sent a shudder through me.

  “Are you cold?” Josh asked.

  Had he been watching me? Well, duh, of course. But then again, maybe he’d only seen the hairs rise all over my skin.

  “No,” I said, giving him a reassuring smile. Walking over to where he sat in front of the little computer to load our names in, I placed my hands on his shoulders and leaned in. “You know, I suck at this.”

  “I heard,” he said with faint amusement in his voice.

  Sighing, I said, “Jenna.”

  Chuckling, he said, “Yes, she is a legion of information.”

  Pondering that, I stood and went to the rack of balls to look for the one with the smallest number on it. Hopefully I would find a six. That was more for children, but I didn’t care. Josh apparently finished setting up the game because he was behind me, just like my sister predicted. If I didn’t know any better, I would think she was pulling both of our strings in some sort of matchmaker ploy.

  “This one,” he said, pointing to a fuchsia ball with the number 8 on it.

  “Actually, I was looking for a six.” Just then, I spotted a bright yellow ball with a six etched into it.

  Shaking his head, he said, “Trust me, this is the way to go.”

  Knowing it was Saturday night, and kids weren’t allowed in after this time, I let the yellow ball stay where it was. I was more than certain after I proved him wrong, the ball would still be there for me to get.

  Looking up at the board, I noticed he put me first. “Hey, no fair,” I whined.

  “What?” he asked, trying to look innocent.

  “Don’t play that game. You should go first,” I said. “That way, I’ll have the last play to try and beat you.”

  Coming closer, he said, “I don’t think that will help.”

  Narrowing my eyes at him at the apparent insult, I laughed. “Okay, fine. I suck. But you could give me false hope.”

  “I did,” he said. “I’m letting you go first and set the pace.”

  But we were laughing. It was kind of easy being here with him alone. Taking my hand, he walked me up to the line.
Holding up the ball, so his fingers were underneath, he said, “There is an art to releasing the ball. But the most important thing to remember is that how you release it at the end will determine the direction of the ball.”

  “Duh,” I said.

  Laughing, he handed me the ball. Taking it, I slipped my three fingers in the predrilled holes. His hand met my waist and guided me back some. I looped the ball backwards. “Wait there, tiger,” he said, taking my wrist. “You haven’t even positioned your body yet. You just can’t toss the ball.”

  Moving me so I angled a bit, his body was ever closer to mine. I bent forward a little, and I was pressed firmly to him. I heard him groan and smiled to myself. As my arm moved forward, I heard his whisper, “Release,” in my ear. As I let go of the ball, he held me in place, and I swear I felt something firm against my bottom.

  When the pins began to fall, I was amazed. Three pins were left standing in the end. Another lesson, and I only had one pin after my second turn. My confidence took a tumble when Josh got a strike with his first shot.

  It wasn’t bad; it just meant that I would have more one-on-one lessons. When the game was done, my score had been left in the dust. Even though I managed to clear most pins with every go, he’d gotten more strikes than spares.

  “Next time,” he said, when we peeled out of the lot. “Are you ready to go home?” he asked.

  “No,” I said in all honesty. It was still rather early, and I wasn’t ready for the night to end. It wasn’t fireworks, but did feel something when he was so close.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Grinning, he drove on. When he pulled up to school, I was sort of taken aback. Getting out, he walked around the car while I sat. It was night, and there weren’t any activities going on. It was kind of weird to see the school like this.

  Opening my door, he held out a hand to me. Taking it, I was momentarily scooped in his arms. Looking up at him, he bent down and brushed his lips across mine. I wasn’t a pro at kissing. Still an amateur, I paid more attention to what I was doing than how it made me feel. Josh had plenty of girls to compare me to and I didn’t want to look like an idiot. I wanted to relax but I was so nervous about making a mistake. I did my best to match his actions with that of my own.